


Verdant Innocence

by deathcomealive



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: M/M, SWR FACPOV, Star Wars FACPOV, The Glimmer of Hope, kzfacpov, the ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathcomealive/pseuds/deathcomealive
Summary: Mom placed me on the ground and it wasn’t long until I saw uncle Zeb and uncle Sasha dancing together. It was a slow song and they were close, almost clutching onto each other and staring lovingly; not much different from times mom looked adoringly at me. It struck me, even then, as the moment two lovers met each other after war.A From a Certain Point of View Kalluzeb Story.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Jacen Syndulla & Garazeb Orrelios & Alexsandr Kallus
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25
Collections: Kalluzeb: From a Certain Point of View ~ challenge





	Verdant Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! First of all I want to thank the AMAZING [nefariosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefariosity/pseuds/nefariosityl) who heavily brainstormed this story with me and is a great friend! I would also like to thank [sempaiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sempaiko) for putting together this open [Kalluzeb FACPOV Challenge](https://sempaiko.tumblr.com/post/640076039980253184/kalluzeb-challenge)! I can't wait to see what everyone else has in store to post!
> 
> Also _vor entye_ to [Anath_Tsurugi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anath_Tsurugi/) for helping me and letting me use their Lasana in this chapter! Translations at the end!  
>   
> Shall we begin?  
> 

I was too young to understand what was happening, though I still remember it perfectly, somehow.

I remember my mom’s laughter, her care, her hold and her gaze on me as she cradled me in her arms. I can also recall her cries, ones that I could barely witness or understand with my own chubby hands reaching up to wipe her tears away, she observed me with a tenderness and longing; of something she couldn’t have even though I was right there in her arms.

Memories of my mother are the earliest ones I have. Ben’s mom once told me that hers was of her birth mother as well, as she held her daughter in her arms and cried as the Ashla pulled her away forever. So, it’s not unlikely that I remember mine from such an early age as well...

Of course, they’re not the only ones I have. Sure, they are the most memorable and that I hold dearest to my heart, but I’m nothing if not made of memories.

Purple engulfed me as I slept over Uncle Zeb’s chest, his sanded down claws tickling my belly and armpits to wake me up; his deep rumbling laughter and purr echoing through my small being. I laughed as well, very strongly so; I don’t think I ever laughed as much as I did in those times with Uncle Zeb. – Okay, also with Poe and Kyrra while high on herb spice, but don’t tell _him_ that.

Uncle Zeb and I always slept together in my room, and there was a time I couldn’t sleep without him around. He was like a giant stuffed toy, keeping me company and giving me warmth.

For the earliest days of my memories, I remember not liking Uncle Sasha for that exact reason. I refused to say his name or pay him any attention, which wasn’t exactly hard for a kid when an adult was already distant. He would come over to the Ghost and I would sleep with Uncle Zeb, but would feel abandoned to wake up and see the two of them sleeping together, curled up on each other in another bunk, in another room.

Sasha would stop coming by as frequently as he did at one point, I didn’t understand it back then, but one night, Uncle Zeb sat me down and explained to me we couldn’t sleep together for a while because he was going away. I cried, but then he pulled out a stuffed toy, a bit smaller than I was at the time; it was clearly handmade and designed to look exactly like him.

Uncle Zeb smiled when he saw that my crying was ceasing, he brushed my green hair back with his blunted claws and cleaned my tears away with the back of his furred fingers. “Uncle Sasha sent that to you as a present.”

I didn’t answer anything as he kissed me goodbye and left, rubbing his cheek into my hair. I continued crying into the stuffed toy, until I was tired enough and naturally passed out. I missed him for weeks after that, sure, but I never cried over it again, willing those wants away whenever I had the plush close to me.

After that, I didn’t see uncle Zeb again until mom said we were heading to a new home: a snow planet named Hoth. Arriving there in coats and boots that were WAY too big for me, I saw uncle Zeb and Sasha coming off another ship. I ran up to them and uncle Zeb didn’t think twice before picking me up, throwing me up into the air and sending me into a giggling fit, yelling. “Again, _again_ , Uncle Zeb. Look mom! I’m flying just like you!”

My mom came up from behind us, reaching up uncle Zeb for a kiss on his furred cheek. One of her hands laid on his arm, silently asking how he was, and he gave her the smallest of nods and smiles. I didn’t think much of it back then, but now things are different.

“Baby,” She reached out to me and I begrudgingly left my uncle’s arms for hers. Mom turned to Sasha, who was shy and reclusive while uncle Zeb urged him forward. Both his hands curled into the pockets of his jacket, either from the cold or from nervousness. “Will you thank Uncle Sasha for the toy he sent you?”

“Hera, he doesn’t need to.” He said, but I guess mom gave him one of _those_ looks of hers that sends chills down your whole body.

“ _thankyouunclesasha._ ” I said quickly, hiding my face onto the soft green skin of my mom’s neck as soon as I was done. He laughed and I became startled, I had never heard him laugh before.

“It’s okay, kit.” Uncle Sasha smiled, and for the first time I saw something different in his eyes and his expression, something soft and delicate. Almost as if he were opening up to me.

I got the confirmation of it one afternoon when mom was called from outside the system, she said her goodbyes to me and asked Uncle Zeb to come with her.

“I have to stay with the Glimmer, I can take care of Jacen.” Sasha voiced out from the doorway of our ship’s cockpit. Uncle Zeb dropped the stack of papers on his hand, startling me from where I sat on the floor with Chopper and a x-wing toy; mom’s face was also pale and surprised as she looked up at the human.

“Ni alitha, are y’sure?” Uncle Zeb asked carefully.

“Well, I don’t see how hard it could be? I’m Fulcrum and he’s just a child. It doesn’t seem so hard, does it?”

Mom and uncle Zeb exchanged glances, though she reluctantly nodded. “Alright, but only if D4 stays to help as well!”

“Not like I’m borrowing him for anyone.” Sasha shrugged. Mom did drag him through hours of teachings on how to take care of me, and uncle Zeb would pipe in every now and then as well, making sure the human was still very much on board with everything.

When they left, I was sitting on the galley of the Glimmer as the two of us looked confusedly at each other. Sasha scratched the back of his head, reaching for a meiloroon on the counter, handing it to me without cutting it open. I stared up at him confused, it took D4 pointing it out for him before he grabbed a kitchen blade to cut it open.

Later in the evening, with my winter clothing on inside out and boots on opposite feet, the two of us made our way out to play in the snow after much begging on my part. I flopped down into the hard snow and started playing, he didn’t pay me much mind besides just staring at me, watching me attentively so I wouldn’t run away from his view. It was freakishly sterile, almost. 

It wasn’t long until we were joined by two men, one of them, the taller one, stopped to talk to Sasha; the other, seemingly younger and definitely shorter, kneeled down by my side. 

“Can I play with you?” He asked, the flaps of his bomber hat shuffling in the wind. I looked at him cautiously, throwing the snowball I had in my hands between one another. Nodding, I turned away from him and tried to play by myself instead. He pressed further. “What is your name?”

“Jacen.” I answered without looking at him. 

“That’s a cool name!” The man smiled. “I’m Luke!”

I paid him no mind. 

It wasn’t long before a snowball hit my back. It wasn’t hard, not at all, but in my childhood naivety, I was _furious_ . Turning around, Luke waved at me and waited expectantly for me to throw one at him. I stood up and it took me no time to effortlessly pull a chunk of snow from the ground. I threw the ball at him and it hit his chest with more force than necessary, _way_ beyond what he had done with me. 

The grown man staggered backwards and fell into the ground with a loud thud. His lips had a knowing smile in them, observing me with caution, but also wonder. He took another fistful of the snow and started rolling it. In panic, I took no chance with him and grabbed another chunk for myself, and before it could even reach my palms, it was flying towards him. 

It was larger than the previous one and I accidentally must’ve miscalculated my strength, because it flew right past Luke’s shoulder and it hit Sasha’s back instead. The much taller and much stronger human was thrown forward with the force of my attack, falling face-first into the snow. Ben’s dad had been talking to him, and started laughing uncontrollably before helping Sasha. 

“Jacen!” He snapped, struggling to sit up in all his clothing, shaking in the cold even then. “Back to the Glimmer, _now_!”

“But-!” I tried to protest, but he was set on it. I crossed my arms upsetly before marching back to his ship. 

He didn’t smile or seemed to change his humor while helping me out of my clothes and into my pajamas. Sasha let me eat while watching a holo, something mom and uncle Zeb never let me do… That at least helped _my_ humor for the night.

When it was bedtime, he came to call me into the one other quarter of the ship that was vacant. I crawled into the bunk where my plush was and he sat down by the edge, not looking at me. I was too scared to say anything, but eventually he turned and watched me as I hugged my plushie tighter against my chest, waiting for whatever dooming thing he had to say for my behavior that evening. 

“Jacen, I am sorry.” He said, looking directly into my eyes. It did take me by surprise. “I snapped at you without knowing what had happened and gave you no explanation for it. I want you to know you did nothing wrong.” 

I blinked, no grown up had ever talked to me like that before. I didn’t realize it then, but it was a pivotal moment, to not be treated like a child, even if I very much still was one. 

“You were playing and an accident happened, I blamed you but now I know it’s not your fault. For that I apologize-” He stopped. “I mean, I am _sorry_ ” He finished with a shake of his head. 

I didn’t answer anything. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t understand what was going on, if I was so taken aback by his words, or if I didn’t know how to react to them. What is the proper response to _I made a mistake and I am sorry_? Would a four-year-old know? Do grown ups even understand how much that means to a child?

“Can I go play again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we can, kit.” Uncle Sasha smiled and reached out to rub my hair affectionately. “I am really happy to see you like the toy I gave you.” I frowned and looked down at the carefully sewn together rendition of uncle Zeb in my arms, Sasha also did. “You were very little when I made that.”

“You _made_ him?” I asked and he nodded proudly, rubbing behind its ears, like it had feelings and sensibility. 

“Yes, I made it for myself. Seeing that you had Garazeb to sleep with, I thought I would make one for my own bunk. Whenever you had your uncle Zeb, I had this plush to keep me company here. And when he left the Ghost, I thought you would need him more than I did…” He explained, pulling away from the toy. I pulled it closer to me even more possessively, there was _no way_ he was taking it back. “Sleep now, kit. We are going to have lots of fun tomorrow.”

I nodded in response and he stood, turning off the lights and closing the door behind himself. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. 

Uncle Sasha didn’t fail on his promise, he did get me in the snow gear and pulled two old satellite dishes from the Glimmer’s cargo. I didn’t get it at first, but finding a hill near base, he sat me down in one of them and pushed me off the top. I screamed in desperation when he first let me go, reaching for his hand; but by the foot of the hill, I was giggling uncontrollably while spinning around with the slowing dish. 

I stood with effort and raised both hands up, smiling at him. “Again, again!” I remember yelling. He laughed and went down to pick me up and bring me to the top one more time. 

He took me for lunch in the cafeteria and let me take a nap in my bunk afterwards. When I woke up, there were space waffles and hot cocoa on his galley’s table. 

The next few days after that, Sasha let me “ _help_ ” him fix a small shipment of MSE droids that arrived to base. I chased them around the Glimmer for hours, giggling frantically at the small game of tag we picked up.

One afternoon, as I was about to finish the snack-time eating, both mom and uncle Zeb came into the galley. “MOM!” I exclaimed happily as soon as I saw them.

“Did you have a nice time with uncle Sasha?” My mom asked as she picked me up and brushed my hair back. I nodded fervorously. 

“Yes! We went to play in the snow! And he made me space waffles!”

“I can see that!” My mom smiled, though the face on uncle Zeb was different. He leaned in and hugged uncle Sasha, telling him something, but I couldn’t grasp it. 

“Hera, the Skywalker kid informed me he wishes to talk to you. With Jacen, if possible…” Uncle Sasha explained. 

My mom frowned and looked at Zeb. “Do you think it has something to do with Kanan?” 

Both men shrugged. “Likely.” Zeb said, but by then I wasn’t really paying attention anymore, nagging at my mom to put me down again so I could continue to eat. 

Only a few days later, that wasn’t our home anymore. 

I lived a very “nomadic” life up until the end of the war, the Ghost being my only constant. Having a ship for a home is amazing, as my crew would be quick to remember me; but there’s only so much a small child can get from that. Hoth was the earliest of my memories, I remember of Lucrehulk Prime, but can’t picture what it was like or what kind of routine we had there. Hoth was different, and it took me a while to get used to the Home One once we arrived there. 

The Ghost arrived a few weeks before the Glimmer did. Uncle Zeb came with us, and so did the plushie, and as a small child, I could not help but stress over it. 

“I want to learn to fly!” I whined and stomped my feet on the ground, a bit too uncharacteristic to my overall behavior as a child. “Now!”

“Sweetie, you’re too young!” My mother protested.

“But! Uncle Sasha said he missed the plushie! I need to give it to him!”

“I find it hard to believe that Kallus, of all people, would be begging for a toy right now…” My mom said in answer to my comment, though it was clearly more aimed at uncle Zeb rather than myself. 

A couple of days later, uncle Zeb caught me in the Phantom, trying to run off to the Glimmer. 

When it did arrive, I immediately ran to uncle Sasha, who picked me up and gave me a big hug. “You forgot uncle Zeb!” I smiled as I shoved the plushie onto his chest. The expression on his face immediately faltered, but it had a tinge of happiness to it. 

“You thought I forgot your toy, Lieutenant?” He asked, running his fingers on its delicate beard. I nodded, he hugged me tighter before placing me in the tarmac ground. “It was alright, kit. I’m here now, aren’t I?” 

I nodded again and he smiled. Uncle Zeb came in right afterwards and didn’t hesitate to place one of his large hands on the back of the human’s head and lay both of their lips together. 

I was stricken by the sight, I had never seen a kiss so closely like that before. They pulled away and nuzzled their cheeks together before turning to me and taking me further inside base. 

Home One is where I have the strongest of memories from war-time, and I think that the one that jumps out the most to me was when there was me, my mom and another man inside the galley of the Ghost. It was Luke Skywalker, but I didn’t know that at the time; I couldn’t even make the connection that he had been the one playing with me that day in Hoth until I was much older. 

Mom had tears in her eyes and a box of things in her grip. A thick wand of some sort, notebooks, tools… I didn’t know what any of it meant, and Skywalker sure seemed amazed by all of it. My mother tipped the box further in his direction. “I wish for you to have these things…” 

“You can’t be serious…” Skywalker shook his head. “What about your son?” My mother looked at me and sighed deeply. “Let him make that decision when he’s older, please General.”

She cleaned her tears with the back of her hand and nodded. 

“You know your son is quite special, right?” He said and her head snapped. 

“You _mean_?” 

“Yes.” Skywalker nodded. “I would offer to train him, if that’s a wish of yours… Though seeing as we’re mid-war and I’m not a knight yet, I would wait a few years...”

My mother shook her head. “I don’t wish for him to be trained.”

Luke nodded. “I understand.” He said before giving my mom a hug and saying their goodbyes. He was quite friendly and sympathetic to me as well.

I had friends at Home One. While on other bases there were a few children, it was always few and our ages were always far apart. And yes, there were lots of _Victory Babies_ once the war was over, but I certainly wasn’t one of them, and we were rare. 

I do remember the day I first met Poe, though. Aunt Shara had just arrived at Home One for the first time and my mom was ready to welcome her, I was half-asleep on her shoulder, seeing as it was the middle of the night. She came out of the freighter with a bundle in her arms. Poe was only two at the time but he slept gracefully in his mother’s arms, as I squirmed in mine’s to get a better look at him. 

We didn’t get to play much together, due to the age gap, most likely. But we did become close friends once the war was over and our mothers continued to keep in touch. 

The battle of Endor was long, especially for a child on a far off planet. I stayed behind with grandpa over at Ryloth and can’t say I didn’t have a good time, though the memories I have from that stay are hazy and convoluted. I was scared for my mom and family, even for Chopper.

When it was safe enough, grandpa Chum placed me in a ship and took me over to Endor, where a party with lots of dancing and cheering was happening. Mother was quick to find us and sweep me up on a celebratory embrace. “There you are! My love!” 

“Mommy!”

“I missed you so much, dear!”

Grandpa also pulled mom into a hug, and told her things I can’t recall, but I do remember the proud look in my mom’s eyes though. 

“Thank you, dad.” She smiled as they pulled away, still holding me in her arms. 

“Now, go on!” Grandpa said “I need to go back home and I don’t want to keep you from your party…”

Mom gave her dad one last, very tight hug before heading up the tree village of the ewoks. She placed me on the ground and it wasn’t long until I saw uncle Zeb and uncle Sasha dancing together. It was a slow song and they were close, almost clutching onto each other and staring lovingly; not much different from times mom looked adoringly at me. It struck me, even then, as the moment two lovers met each other after war. 

Uncle Sasha had been without his jacket and had a bandage on his arm, uncle Zeb had a bloody bandage on top of a freshly nicked ear. Mom held me back from running up to them, grabbing my arm as we watched Sasha lean his head on Zeb’s shoulder, taking a deep breath of all things that were his lasat friend. 

She did let me go once the song turned into something more upbeat. I ran over to them and uncle Zeb startled, but didn’t hesitate to pick me up once I got closer. “We won, kit!” He yelled happily. “We won th’war!”

Nearby, someone who had been close to us, overheard Zeb’s excitement and shouted. “We can finally go home!”

There was loud cheering in response to the comment, uncle Sasha and uncle Zeb looked at each other but didn’t cheer or smile. Though it didn’t take long for uncle Zeb, with me still in his arms, to pull uncle Sasha for another hug, leaving a kiss on top of his messy blonde hair. 

“Your wound is bleeding,” Uncle Sasha pointed out. “Come on, let’s go get it cleaned again.”

He tugged on uncle Zeb’s hand, who carefully placed me back on the ground. “Go to yer mom, kit. We’ll see y’again in just a little bit.”

I nodded and watched as they left. My mom approached me again and I reached out both arms for her to pick me up again, to which she shook her head. “I think you’re kind of big for me to keep carrying you around, don’t you think?” 

I huffed in annoyance, but she still smiled and ruffled my green hair adoringly. Nudging me further into the party, I saw the first of ewoks. I was dumbstruck, seeing as they were about my size at the time, she cheered happily and came to give me a big hug, engulfing me full. It wasn’t long until more ewoks joined her and pulled me into several individual embraces. Their fur was very soft, much like uncle Zeb’s. 

Mom left me to go play with them, and honestly? I had a blast of a time. The ewoks put up a show with Aunt Leia’s protocol droid, C3PO. In the midst of the dense crowd of rebels, I tried to make my way through. 

A single large hand picked me off the crowd and lifted me off the ground. Uncle Zeb readjusted me so I could sit on his shoulders and watch the show. I think I grabbed on his ears too tightly, though he never said anything about it. 

I think that out of my memories from childhood, that must be one of the most fun. For one night, I had all the “children” in the galaxy; for someone who didn’t have many of them to even start friendships with, it was paradise. 

At the end of the night, most people stayed down at the village. Though the Ghost was down planetside and we went to sleep aboard, giving uncle Zeb and uncle Sasha a ride back to the Glimmer, seeing as it was parked at Home One. 

“Mommy?” I called as she gave me a kiss on the forehead, draping the sheet over me as I clutched on my purple lasat plushie. 

“What is it, love?” She asked adoringly, brushing my green hair behind my pointy ears. 

“Why don’t I have a lekku? Like you?” Mom smiled sadly at my question and she ran a thumb carefully across one of the green splotches on my cheek. 

“Because...” She sighed. “I can’t really explain _why_ , love. It’s just- I’m sorry I can’t explain it.”

I nodded, hugging my knees insecurely. “Will you tell me one day?”

My mother smiled sadly, but still nodded. “One day.” She said before leaning down and leaving a kiss on my forehead. 

After the initial commotion of the defeat of the Empire, mom sat me down and explained we were moving to an actual, _physical_ home. I didn’t grasp it at first, but it soon became clear as we walked into a small townhouse in Chandrila, the new capital of the New Republic. 

It was a two-bedroom house, with a large garden and we even adopted a tooka kit, whom I named Akoot, which is just Tooka written backwards. We would spend days playing outside and after a while, more kids started showing up to come play and join us. I quickly made friends, both around the neighborhood and at school. 

Uncle Sasha and uncle Zeb did come to visit us a few times in the first couple of years we lived there. They stayed out a lot during the day, mostly while I was at school, down at the senate and at conferences. Now I understand they were discussing the ins and outs of the hidden nature of Lira San to the New Republic. 

“So, the queen doesn’t want to join us?” Hera asked Zeb while separating some balka greens into a bowl. “I understand her positioning, but please make it clear to her we will always be open if she does want to join the Republic in the future.”

“Of course,” Zeb shrugged while pouring a bottle of correlian wine for each of the adults. “I would love to be part of th’Republic I helped liberate, but also understand her argument.”

I reached out towards a plate of cut-up meiloroons in front of uncle Sasha, who pulled the bowl away. “No sweets before dinner, Lieutenant.” He smirked, happily sipping on his wine. I crossed my arms in front of my chest with a pout, being almost over-dramatic. He still let me, shoving the bowl back towards my direction before turning to give his partner a cheek-rub. 

_“That’s how lasats kiss, kit.”_ I heard Zeb’s voice from the past echoing in my head, as he had once explained to me. 

It was only a few days after I turned eight, that my mom came to brush my hair after a sonic and noticed something, feeling for my scalp. I turned to her with a frown, she had never done that. “Love, did you hit your head?” 

I shook nervously. “No, mama!”

She half-laughed, half-smiled. “Please, don’t lie to me, honey.”

“I’m not!” I argued. “I promise!”

She gave me one confused look, eyeing between my face and my head. “Come with me!” Mom took me by the arm and took me back onto the bathroom, grabbing the hair-cutting machine we always used to trim my hair at home. Starting it with a loud noise, my mom shaved off my hair. I didn’t protest it as the green locks started falling all over me. 

Once she was done, she pulled away and jumped excitedly, grabbing a hand mirror next to the sink and showing me the back of my head in the sink mirror’s reflection. 

It was two large light-orange bumps in the back of my head, side-by-side, much like the root of a twi’lek’s lekku would be. I gasped excitedly. 

“I’m going to have a lekku?!?” I asked happily, turning back to her. 

“I think so, love!” My mom answered and I jumped on her to give her a hug, she pulled me even tighter against her chest. “Only time can tell though!”

“I have to call, Poe!” I exclaimed again, happiness just overflowing out of my tiny being. “I have a lekku!” 

The excitement didn’t die down for months after that. It was already visible over my hair, looking like tiny itty-bity horns, but still. It did look like one day when mom pulled the Ghost out of storage, not that it was an uncommon thing, we made trips all the time, especially to Ryloth. 

Though this time we took longer than I would expect to arrive, and once we did, I realized we were way too far from Ryloth. 

“Mom, where are we?” I asked, still tired from sleep and from the trip. I realized I had totally grown unaccustomed to flying. 

“Welcome to Lira San, kit.” Familiar voice approached us. Uncle Sasha looked a lot different from what we had last seen him: He wore a fine purple tunic that was a tad too large for him, beautiful green and tan-colored flowers were embroidered around his neck and its hem, which was pulled together with a string going across his hips. Pants that only went down to his knees were underneath, framing his bare feet. 

“Look at you, Alexsandr!” My mom smiled as she saw him, letting go of my hand. Uncle Sasha made a twirl to show his clothes, his hair and beard had also gotten longer, pulled back on a short ponytail and the mutton chops that were such a huge signature of his were long gone into his full beard. 

“I know, right? Never thought clothes as comfortable as these even existed, it feels like a hug from the Ashla.” He explained before giving each of us a hug. “Come on, we don’t want to keep them waiting, do we?” 

_Them_? I frowned, wondering if we were gonna head somewhere public. 

The three of us walked towards a nice neighborhood nearby; the homes weren’t as close as they were in Chandrila, but they didn’t have streets like we had, so the pathways went around yards and large trees. It was a mostly rural area, I noticed as we saw families of lasats picking their foods while waving at us. I had never seen so many of them before, I don’t even think I met another lasat besides uncle Zeb, before going to Lira San.

Uncle Sasha got too close to one of the homes, it was much like the others: Made of wood, just the size they needed it to be, with a nice, flowery garden out in the front; green-tinted glass windows were framed by vines that came from the roof, which was filled with other sorts of plants.

He opened the door and welcomed us in. At first glance, we saw uncle Zeb sitting at a large wooden chair, holding something carefully against his chest. He turned to us as soon as we walked in and shushed, indicating us to be quiet. 

Walking closer, I realized it was a small lasat kit, curled up and clawing at the fur of his chest. 

“Come closer, kit.” Uncle Zeb whispered to me, and I did. He moved his strong arms in a way I could see her more clearly, claws untangling as she yawned, her feet stretching out and showcasing their claws. “This is yer baby cousin, Kyrra.”

I blinked a few times and reached out for her, it was almost like she could sense me, because she reached out her small hand and curled her claws over several of my fingers, her ear twitching even in her sleep. 

“She’s so tiny!” I exclaimed, being careful to not wake her up. 

“Well, she won’t be tiny for long, and yer two can play all the time when she does grow up, would y’like that?” I nodded. “Good! Now, I’m going to put her in her cradle, and you can properly meet her once she’s up again, alright?”

I nodded one more time before uncle Zeb stood and made his way out of the living room, onto one of the quarters. 

After that, we had a delicious breakfast and uncle Zeb took the time to take mom and I outside to meet the village. We stayed there for a whole week, I got to play more with Kyrra and get to know the neighborhood and the planet better. 

Heading back home, Ben’s mom and uncle called for my mom, asking for her help. I did go with her and Luke greeted me much like he used to during the war. He asked me if I remembered him and I did not say anything, nodding as an answer instead, clutching onto my mother’s hand. 

“General, I understand that you don’t wish your son to be trained in the ways of the force, but I would like him to meet some of my students. A child, also sensitive within the force, and my nephew, Ben. 

“Are they similar to Jacen in age?” She wondered. Organa and Skywalker exchanged looks. 

“Ben is only four now, but I hoped he could meet other children like him…” Aunt Leia explained. “Han thinks getting more force-sensitive children mixed will only raise more havoc, but I disagree with him.”

“And my student is over fifty, though he’s a slow grower.” Luke added after his sister. 

“I do consider you my friend, Hera. I know there’s a chance they won’t get along, but I wish to try, for Ben. If you’re willing, of course”

“I could never say no to you, General.” My mom smiled and so did Leia, they reached out for one another and she held my mother’s hand, thanking her with a whisper. 

Mom took me over to the Solo’s household one afternoon, asking me to _“be nice”_. I shrugged as Ben’s dad, Han, opened the door. 

“There you are!” He smirked, leaning on the doorway. “You’re finally ready to accept that the Falcon is better than the Ghost?” 

“You know I would never, Solo.” Mother smiled as he let us in. Skywalker had been sitting in the living room, and while still holding my mom’s hand, I approached him and saw a small child sitting on his lap. It was small, green and reminded me of a little frog. 

Being called in the force, he pulled me in. “Hi!” I smiled. He waved at me and cooed happily. Skywalker laughed. 

“Jacen, this is my student, Grogu.” He told me, and Grogu cooed again. 

“Look, mom!” I said tugging on her hand. “He’s green just like we are!”

Both adults present laughed. “Yes, he is, love.” 

Ben and his mom came from the inside a few minutes later, and it was true, Ben and I didn’t get along at first, but by the end of the afternoon, I was already wondering when I could come back again.

Ben and I did grow closer within the next few years, as did Grogu. I mean, as best he could; Skywalker always seemed to be away with him though. 

One evening, a few years later, Ben and I were walking through the plains of Chandrila. The tall, pink-ish yellow grass made loud bustling noises as we made our way through it. Chopper had been babysitting us that day and we were playing hide and seek with the astromech. At one point, Ben had the brilliant idea of climbing up to a tree top, somewhere that by his claim, Chop couldn’t find us. 

“Chopper is reaaaal smart, I think he will find us up there anyway…” I tried to argue, since I was older and expected to be the _responsible_ one. But his hands were already gripping a branch. 

“Come on!” Ben whined, throwing his head back but still keeping his balance. “You’re going to lose this round if you don’t come with me!”

I looked back between the tree and the place we had just come from. Begrudgingly, I followed Ben. It wasn’t long until Chopper found us, but once he did, we couldn’t get down. 

I grew nervous at the temporary prospect of not going home that night, but Ben didn’t seem phased or concerned with it. “One day, when I’m a jedi, I will be able to jump from here and then lift this tree with my mind!” He said. I think he was trying to assure me things would be fine, but it would take a while until he could even start training for that. 

It took about an hour stuck up there to see my mom and his father coming from up the plains, a ladder tucked under Han’s arm. He did climb up and bring us both down, one at a time. “Well, this was much more exciting than anything I did as a smuggler…” He said, messing up his son’s black hair even further. 

Heading back home, neither mom or Chop said anything. We had a quiet dinner and I couldn’t help but grow somewhat anxious. “Mom?” I asked, she hummed. “Are you mad at me?”

She sighed and dropped her utensils before she gave me a look. “I’m upset, but not mad.” She said calmly, thought firm in her wording, paying full attention to me. “I have just been stressed with work and got really worried about you when Chopper called us.”

I nodded. “Mom?” 

“Yes?” 

“Why is Ben going to be a Jedi, and I am not?” 

She stopped again, this question seemed to be much more urgent and paralyzing than the previous one. “Love,” She sighed again, this time much more deeply. “I have told you stories about your father. I don’t want to lose you, like I lost him.”

“But-” I frowned. “Wouldn’t that get me closer to him?” 

Mom blinked, but shook her head. “I don’t know… And honestly, I don’t think I _could_ know… I don’t think I can understand what you’re going through most of the time.”

I looked down, playing with my food. “I know you try.” 

She seemed to perk up at my answer, reaching out to tenderly hold my spotted green hand between hers.

“Hey! I know I can’t make you a jedi, but remember when we were in the rebellion that you always wanted to learn to fly?”

“YES!” I exclaimed happily, almost jumping out of my seat.

“I’ve been feeling kind of sick of work lately, would you like to come learn to fly the Ghost with me this weekend?”

“YES!” I exclaimed once more, jumping out of my seat and onto her lap, to which she held me close in a tight hug. 

And she did, for that weekend and most of them from that point forward. She let me fly all the way to Yavin once, where we met with Aunt Shara and Poe, just a few weeks before she passed away. 

I was thirteen when one day, mom got a signal from Lira San. Uncle Zeb and uncle Sasha weren’t able to send full messages or recordings through the cluster, past wild space and into the core planets. So they just sent blank signals whenever they needed to talk to her. 

“I don’t think it’s a distress signal, but I can’t ever be too relaxed.” She explained to Chopper, who decidedly _did not_ want to go. “The last time they sent one if thise was when they brought Kyrra home, and that was already something that we were expecting. I don’t know what to expect now.”

It was a couple of days' ride to Lira San, we had seen the Kallus-Orrelios’s plenty of times since our last trip, but they always went to Chandrila in the Glimmer. We hadn’t been to Lira San in four years. 

Arriving there, Zeb and Kyrra came to greet us at the port. She was much bigger than she was during that first visit, she stood on her feet now and had purple hair that reached to her shoulders, which was pulled back in beautiful, delicate braids. Kyrra already looked so much like uncle Zeb, even if she was adopted. 

“Is everything alright? We were so worried!” My mother immediately ran to him, grabbing the lasat by both arms. Uncle Zeb nodded and engulfed her in a hug, in which she let out an exasperated sigh before turning to talk to Kyrra. 

“We’re fine and no one is hurt. We _do_ have something to show ya, don we, kit?” Uncle Zeb tugged on Kyrra’s much smaller hand and she nodded with a huge smile on her face. 

Making the semi-familiar path to the cottage, we walked inside to see Sasha and another human man talking. He had long dark-blue hair, which was pulled into a pony-tail, a set of doubled scars on his cheek and another going across his jaw; a knitted blanket was wrapped around his shoulders, making him seem much smaller than he actually was. I did not recognize him, but by the gasp on my mother’s voice, I could know that she sure did. 

With tears pooling in her eyes, she made her way across the living room, pulling that man into a hug, to which after a minute of comprehension, he embraced her just as strongly. Uncle Sasha smiled as he watched the commotion happen right by his side. After a solid minute, and having Kyrra drag me into the house, the man pulled away and my mom placed both hands on the sides of his head, putting both their foreheads together. 

“Are you okay?” She asked him in a whisper and he nodded. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to come home…” 

“Fourteen standard years, I know.” He smiled sadly before she pulled away, looking around the room for me. 

“Ezra, I want you to meet someone very special. This is Jacen, my son.”

Before she could even finish her sentence, the man grabbed me by both arms and, with his mouth agape, stared and looked at me carefully. 

“You and Kanan had a _child_ ?!?” He more shrieked than anything else, momentarily turning to Hera, she nodded for him. “And he’s _green_!”

Both Kyrra and my mother laughed at his statement. “Yes, he’s green.” 

“And-” Ezra blinked. “He’s force-sensitive.”

Hera sighed, almost as if tired, and nodded “Yes, he is.”

“And- You’re scared?” Ezra asked, turning around to see her properly

“I-” My mother breathed heavily once more, closing her emerald eyes, as if to gather her thoughts. “I think we need to talk.”

He nodded. After that, Zeb called Kyrra and I to go outside for a walk, uncle Sasha also came after us, leaving mom and Ezra to talk by themselves. 

Kyrra ran ahead and I followed her mindlessly, looking back to see uncle Sasha leaning into uncle Zeb, their hands together as they continued walking in a beeline behind us. At one point, Kyrra approached me and jumped up, trying to catch my ears with her claws. 

“Stop that!” I said, the tiniest bit annoyed. 

“Why are your ears like that when you’re a human?” 

I frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“So my adan is a lasat, and my papa is a human. My adan has pointy ears just like you and just like me! But you look like my papa, so you’re a human, how do you have lasat ears then?”

Her speech was a bit weird, but I knew it was from being raised bilingual. It made her all the more endearing. 

“My mom has pointy ears, that’s where I got them from.” I explained. 

“Ah!” She smiled happily at the realization. “Are your horns from her too?”

I laughed. “Yes, they’re actually a lekku.” I explained, reaching up to touch one of them, which was already bigger than it was a couple of years before. 

“Do you like cats?” Kyrra asked. 

“I love them! I have one named Akoot!”

Kyrra reached out and tugged on my hand again. “Come on! There’s a family of tookas living on that tree over there! I can show them to you!”

I was hesitant about climbing the tree, especially after what had happened with Ben. Kyrra ran up the large raised roots towards the trunk of the tree and let her claws attach to the dark-orange bark. I watched mesmerized as she easily climbed to the top, and was even more entranced as seemingly more lasat children were also up there. Uncle Zeb and uncle Sasha approached me calmly. 

“Do you want to go up there?” Sasha asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“I can’t do that, I can’t come down either…” 

“Kyrra!” He shouted, his daughter immediately heard his call for her and climbed down quickly, more quickly than I would expect her to. 

“What is it, papa?” 

“Can you run back home and get my clawed gloves?” 

Kyrra’s eyes immediately lit up. “You’re climbing with us?!”

“No, ashkerr'aki. I’m borrowing them to Jacen.”

“Oh!” Kyrra exclaimed before running off. “I’ll be back in a minute!”

“A clawed glove?” I asked with yet another frown. 

“It’s what it says, a glove wi’claws.” Uncle Zeb explained. “I made it for Kal when he first moved in, so we could go on outdoor activities together and so he could interact with objects that were designed for clawed users. We will teach you how to climb, if you want…”

I looked up the tree again, it was likely the largest tree I had ever seen, going way up and beyond the entire village. It was scary, especially to think I could fail my uncles’ teachings. 

“You don’t have to go all the way up if you don’t want to.” Uncle Sasha explained, likely noticing how nervous I was. “I’m sure we can find smaller trees with more tookas in them.”

I nodded to his argument, agreeing to those conditions. And just then, Kyrra arrived with both gloves and a pair of socks, small pinpricks of several claws coming out of them. 

“Love, will you, please?” Sasha asked his mate, who nodded before taking the gear from his daughter’s hands. 

Uncle Zeb kneeled in front me, getting to my eye level. I gave him both hands and both feet, one at a time, so he could carefully place and adjust them in a way it wouldn’t hurt me. I looked at them in amazement as soon as they were secure to my limbs. 

“Now, come on!” Uncle Zeb urged me with a nudge, a bit strong of a push. “Let’s go have some climbing lessons…” 

I can’t say I didn’t have a blast of a time. Sure, it was scary and nerve-wracking at first, but I took it quite easily, also quite a taste and thrill for it. Starting at smaller trees, I did make my way up to bigger ones and the _biggest_ one, climbing all the way to the top with confidence after just a few hours. 

A few branches below where I was, towards the center of the large trunk, Kyrra was playing “catch” with her adans, where she would pretend to “fall” from the trunk into one of their arms, preferably Zeb’s.

As soon as I managed to sit down at one of the branches, a small blue and pink tooka made its way to me, curling up on my arm and settling into a comfortable position on my lap. I smiled while reaching to pet its ears, earning a rumbling purr that made me giggle. 

Seemingly giving up on the fun, Kyrra started climbing towards me. Uncle Zeb turned and walked towards something else not too far away, but I couldn’t see where through the branches. 

“Want to see something fun?” She asked me with her wide yellow eyes. I nodded, still petting the tooka.

Kyrra, once again, sheathed her claws and jumped from the branch, down towards her papa who was still distractedly standing between the large, raised roots of the tree. Uncle Sasha gasped desperately, opening his arms for her. “ _Kyrra_!” He shouted. “Zeb! Help!”

Seeing his desperation, I felt my heart jump to my throat. In instinct, I reached out, as if I could hold her hand before something bad happened, though obviously, I couldn’t. I closed my eyes, hoping to not have to witness her fall, but, nothing happened. 

There were no crashes and no screams. As I opened my eyes, I saw her floating in the air, stopped halfway down the fall. 

Her bright yellow eyes were perplexed staring at me. I didn’t have the time to register what was happening before I pulled my hand back, and she fell once more, escaping my “grip”.

“Kyrra!” I reached out my hand again, and she did stop once more. 

Still with my hand out, I saw mom, Ezra and Uncle Zeb approaching us. The Jedi’s hand was also out, completely in control of her. 

Calmly and masterfully, he carefully placed Kyrra in Sasha’s arms, where she kneaded at his bare arms, leaving small pin pricks of her claws behind, drawing blood from his creamy freckled skin. 

“It’s okay, ashkerr'aki. Papa’s got you.” Uncle Sasha whispered against her fur as she whimpered onto his shirt. Zeb ran to them, pulling both in a hug, Sasha turned his head and used his beard to rub against her head, to which I noticed her softly purring for as I finished climbing down on my own. 

Ezra eyed me, but didn’t say anything. 

We went back to Chandrila a couple of days after that, Ezra came with us inside the Ghost and took the bedroom that had previously been Uncle Zeb’s. “Ugh, I can still smell him in here.” He said, earning a laugh from my mother. 

One day, I sat in the galley, reading through a holobook. Ezra sat across from me and turned off the holo, without even touching its disk. I looked at him confused. 

“I saw what you did for Kyrra back on Lira San.” He said calmly, something wise about him sparked my interest. “I was very impressed.”

I shook my head. “I had never done that before.”

“Your mother has told you stories about me, right?” He asked and I nodded, a smile automatically crept on his face. “I have talked with your mother and- She says you have interest in becoming a Jedi?”

I frowned. “It’s been a few years since I have said that.”

“Oh! You have changed your mind?” 

“I don’t think so…” I answered, shaking my head. “I do still want to master the force!”

Ezra looked at me, observant, as if he were proud of my decision. “You are quite young, Jacen. That’s a grand decision to make, anyone your age would love to be a Jedi…”

“I have met Luke Skywalker.” I explained to him. “He was a pilot before becoming a Jedi… I want to be his opposite. I want to be a force user, who flies. I know his story and how the force helped him during his time as a pilot. I want to be like him…”

Ezra stared at me dumbfounded, and I couldn’t exactly read his expression. 

“I’m sorry, that I don’t want to be like you or my father. I just-” I laughed. “I just _really_ like flying…”

While I was mid-sentence, he stood up and walked up to me, bringing me into a big, tight hug. I didn’t know what to do and kept my arms at my sides before I brought them up to retribute the gesture. When pulling away, Ezra grabbed me by both arms and eyed me patiently, analytically almost. “Does your mother know about that?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t told her…”

“Would you-” Ezra sighed, hopeful. “Would you like me to train you? On how to master the force?”

My eyes went wide. “You would do that?!?”

“Of course!” He smiled brightly. “Would you want to tell your mom now? I will support you, and I know she will as well...”

I hesitated at first, but nodded. We both made our way to the cockpit. 

Looking back, I think that trip to Lira San was the last moment of my childhood. 

Coming home after that, I spurted quite a handful of centimeters taller; my voice became thicker, and my lekku grew to a point where it curled above my head and was quite visible over my hair. Sometimes, while lying in my bunk, my pants would grow tighter and tingle. Though we’re not kids anymore, we all know what that meant…

In the meantime, mom had been talking more frequently with Ezra. Arriving from Lira San, he stayed with us for a while and we started training, mom even introduced him to Luke. It wasn’t long until the two were off onto adventures together trying to find out more about the ancient Jedi. 

“You think you can come this month?” She asked through the holo, I noticed a pinch of worry in her voice. “Jacen misses you…”

“I’m afraid not, Hera.” Ezra shook his head. “I’m not sure I would be of much help for what you’re asking of me... Though, there’s always two people you can always count on, you know that, right?”

My mother sighed. “I was really hoping I wasn’t going to have to resort to that!”

“Well, perhaps try to consider it at least…” Ezra continued. “I should go, Luke just finished getting ready. I will give you updates in a few days.”

“Of course...” She nodded before turning off the holo, just as I came out of my room, pretending I didn’t just hear the better part of their conversation. 

“Is everything okay?” I asked and she nodded. 

“Can you come with me to Lira San this weekend?” 

“Sure,” I shrugged. “I’ll make sure to let the school know I won’t be coming for the week…”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” My mother smiled before placing a chaste kiss on top of my head, getting ready to leave to work. 

We did leave for Lira San a couple of days after that. At our arrival, Zeb and Kyrra were already waiting for us at the landing docks. Being just over a year older now, Kyrra was taller, growing more into her ears with two small dark purple stripes showing out from the edge of her hairline. “Jacen, look!” She exclaimed happily as soon as she saw me, just a head smaller than me at the time. The almost six-year-old got on her tiptoes and showed me how she had lost her two first upper canines. “Adan says I’m going to grow fangs!”

“Oh! That’s cool!” I answered with just as much excitement. 

“I know!” 

Zeb approached me after talking to my mom and pulled me into a big hug, lifting me off the ground. “Uncle Zeb!” I cried out from the strength of his arms, and he quickly let go of me. I landed with both feet back on the ground.

“Sorry, kit.” He smirked and fussed with my hair, effectively messing it up. I tried to fix it, but it was useless now. “‘M just too excited to have yer here again.”

“Kyrra,” My mother stepped up. “Would you like to come to the market with me? Your adan tells me your papa needs some stuff for lunch…”

“Yes! I would love to, Auntie Hera!” Kyrra smiled and ran up to her, effectively latching onto my mom’s arm. 

“We’ll see you boys at home in a couple of hours!” She said with her goodbyes and started walking away with Kyrra. Zeb nudged me to start walking back to the village. Just making our way inside the cottage, an easel was up in the living room, just in front of the couch. Zeb and I both frowned at the sight. 

“Kal, what are yer doing?” Zeb asked his partner as he fixed a few blank panels on top of the easel. “Did- Did yer make a presentation?” 

A presentation for _what_? I wondered. 

“Well, I _have_ been preparing for this!” Sasha sighed, looking at Zeb. “Hello, Jacen! Welcome to our home!” He smiled as he turned to me. “Would you please sit down?”

I looked over to Zeb, who placed a hand on my shoulder and nodded, urging me to do as told. I made my way to the couch and the two of them brought out chairs to sit in front of me, that was when I knew something major was about to go down. 

“So, hm,” Zeb scratched the back of his head nervously. “Yer mom has asked us to have a conversation with ya, about- The birds and th’bees… If you will.”

I frowned. “The birds and the bees?” 

They both nodded. “Yeah, so, when a mommy and a daddy-” Zeb continued. 

“Or a daddy and a daddy, a mommy and a mommy…”

“Yeah, when, hm, two people who love each other very much, decide to bring a bundle of joy into th’wor-”

“Wait, wait, _wait_ …” I interrupted them. “Are you two trying to tell me where babies come from?” I asked, dumbfounded at the prospect of them thinking I had no idea of any of it. The two men looked confusedly between each other. “I know where babies come from!”

“Oh yeah?” Sasha challenged me. “Please do tell us!”

“From sex…!” I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. 

“Ah!” Zeb reacted, eyes wide. “Seems like our job is done here!” He rubbed both hands together and stood, Sasha placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from walking any further. 

“Yeah, you’re not wrong. Though I think he’s old enough to not just have _that_ response to it… Hera sent him to us to make sure he knows _everything._ ”

_Oh no._

Sasha stood and walked to the easel, turning one of the blank panels to show a few pictures in it: a human uterus, a human penis, an egg and a sperm. 

My eyes immediately went wide at the sight. 

“So!” Sasha started, now looking nervously between me and the panel. Something changed within him before he started speaking. “This is a sperm, which is produced by the testicles, and this is- This is an egg! Which is fabricated at the uterus, and when two beings are engaged enough to the point of- Intercourse, the sperm is-”

“What is intercourse?”

Both men looked at me. “The consummation…” Sasha swallowed hard. “The coitus-”

“Just say _the sex_ , Alex!” Zeb groaned heavily “The romp!”

Sasha gave Zeb an annoyed look. I was grateful they didn’t have time to acknowledge the terrified look on my face. 

“Anyways! The sperm shot from the- The hm,”

“The penis!” Zeb called out, before his partner could say some over-complicated word.

“Yes! And- if the other person has a matrix, it reaches the egg and- And it makes a- A fetus!” Sasha explained, his pale skin flushed red before he shot a glance my way. “Which I assume you’re aware will _shoot_ out the mother’s body in nine standard months…”

I nodded. “Okay...” 

“And-” He continued pointing to the chart, changing positions whenever he switched subjects, all while fidgeting with his hands. “The testicles produce testosterone and the u- The uterus produces estrogen and pro- progesterone…” 

“So, that’s between two people that have nuts and wombs, right?” I asked. Zeb immediately clamped a hand over his mouth to cover his laugh, Sasha grew even redder than I thought possible. 

“Yes.” The human answered.

“But, what about someone who- doesn’t have one of them?”

“Well, you know your uncle and I fall into that category, right?” Zeb asked while bringing his hand down. I nodded, looking between the two. “Sex can be about reproduction but it isn’t always,” He said, pursing his lips together. “It’s about enjoying the person, _or persons_! You’re with…” 

Zeb scratched the back of his head before looking over to Sasha, who placed a hand on his furred shoulder. Zeb smiled and held his hand, not pulling it away. 

“You can always get creative, as long as everyone involved is okay...” Sasha continued. “You can use your- hm, your hands, your- your mouth…”

“Your anus, toys…” Zeb explained. I made an icky face to which he rolled his eyes at. “You can actually do all of that regardless of who you’re with...”

I frowned as I looked at them, watching their nervous explanations. Zeb was _sweating_ , Zeb _never_ sweat, having it always be absorbed by fur. 

“You know,” Zeb scratched the back of his head again, growing more redby the second. “You also don’t have to do anything… Not everybody likes sex… Or even _wants_ a romantic relationship.”

Sasha nodded before he became distracted and looked among his panels, seemingly searching for something. Zeb also noticed. 

“ _Kal_? What did you do?” 

Pulling up to the front, a new panel. Sasha showed one where different types of penis and vaginas were displayed, of different species other than human. Zeb turned to see what it was and his jaw dropped. “ _Alex_! Don’t you think it’s a bit too much for now?!?”

“Would you like for him to go through what _I_ went through?” 

Zeb’s eyes went wide, he fervorously shook his head. 

I buried my face into my hands, wishing I did not learn _that_ about my uncles. 

Sasha and Zeb both launched into a speech about spines, slits, knots and barbs; always explaining (or at least trying to in their own nervous way.) how to have protected sex. I just stared at them with a frown half the time, the other half I laughed at their awkwardness to explain the subject. 

Later in the afternoon, I left for the living room with Kyrra after lunch. “We have done a _great_ job!” I overheard Zeb telling my mother in the kitchen. 

“Yes! We are sending Kyrra to you when she’s old enough…” Sasha piped in, earning an argument from my mother. 

It wasn’t until a couple of years later during a mid-training break, I brought up that day with Ezra. 

“Well, Zeb and Kallus weren’t much of a help to me when I was your age either…” He said with a laugh. “Your father couldn’t even look at your mom without melting and berating himself for his attachment to her…”

“Ezra?” 

“Yes?” 

“What was my father like?” 

Ezra turned his head and looked at me, analyzing the micro-expressions of my face, or perhaps something I couldn’t see. I wouldn’t know. 

“Your father was a bright light,” Ezra explained, looking down at his hands. “Always family first, he believed so much in me when he had no reason to… Being your father’s padawan was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I nodded. “I do feel closer to him, by sharing this time with you…”

“I’m glad to hear,” Ezra smiled sadly. “Now, let’s go back…” He said before standing and urging me to follow him back to training. 

A couple of weeks before my eighteenth birthday, my mother took me to sign up for the New Republican Navy. 

“Look at you!” She smiled brightly, reaching out to pinch my cheeks like I was a child. “My baby! Becoming a professional pilot!” 

I thought about asking her to stop _embarrassing me_ , but my mother was _Hera Syndulla_. All my classmates would get to know her sooner or later, so I might as well accept it as soon as possible. 

That same year, Ezra took me to visit Luke’s Jedi Academy, where I was able to see Ben again for the first time in a couple of years. He also had spurted quite a lot since I had seen him the last time; we weren’t kids anymore, but the fact that I was four years older than him never seemed so clear as it was then. 

He woke me up one night, calling me outside the barracks. “Let’s steal a ship!” Ben asked me excitedly. “Take me to fly something! I miss flying!”

I rubbed my eyes, still half-asleep. “No plans you ever get me in lead me to good places, Solo…” I warned him, crossing both arms over my chest. “It took me clawed gloves to climb a tree again, you know?” 

Ben frowned. “I’ll pretend I know what that means, if you take me…”

I sighed, begrudgingly starting to walk towards the landing docks. “I thought that since you are _also_ the son of a pilot and a Jedi, that you would have a taste for either one or the other.”

“Well, I chose the force with a side of ships, you chose ships with a side of force…”

I couldn’t argue with him on that one.

I did take him flying, but mostly because I just missed him. Both Ezra and Luke tried to make punishments for us as soon as we were caught. Though someone should’ve warned them we would have a blast of a time trying to hunt food for the week…

Some time after that, Poe joined us in the navy, and I can’t say it wasn’t nice having a friend so close around me. 

And years went by, just like that… Sasha, Kyrra and Zeb came to visit every year; mother was a respectable professor; Poe and I graduated from flight school; Ben also graduated to a Jedi Knight, after training with both Luke and Ezra to learn to master his light and dark sides... I, too, continued to study my abilities in the force with Ezra, all while still being part of the New Republic Defense Force with Legend Squadron, alongside Poe, who was in the Rapier Squadron. Things were incredible. 

Until they weren’t. 

Poe and I hadn’t been stationed together at the time, but one day my mother and I were called into a meeting with Poe, Ben and Leia. Ezra, Luke and Han were also there. 

It was 28ABY, the year where we found out the existence of the First Order. 

In the first weeks of the establishment of the Resistance, my mother and I travelled to Lira San once more. Zeb and Sasha were devastated to learn of the news, as we knew they would be.

“Mies demagolka, we gave our lives to the cause and fought _so_ hard to end this war, when it was never really over…” Zeb sighed tiredly, his eyes filled with tears as Sasha curled up to his side and Kyrra held his hand. “How was it that Organa found out?” 

“Leia had Poe gather intel and Ben confirmed it, the Supreme Leader tried to seduce him to the dark side during Jedi School…”

Sasha took a shuddering breath, craning his head upwards to rub his cheek against Zeb’s beard, a comforting gesture for the two. Sasha’s hair had always been a lighter shade of blonde, though now it leaned towards silver. Healthy wrinkles framed his amber eyes while Zeb’s stripes had also started to lean on the silver side, as well as his beard. 

“Does Lira San need to worry?” Sasha asked carefully as he pulled away, guilt seeping into his voice. My mother shook her head. 

“Given your location and protection, I wouldn’t. Though I would still let the queen know and decide on any protective measures she would like to have…”

“Would you come with us? To talk to her?”

She nodded before Sasha and Zeb excused themselves to go get ready. My mother called me to meet her outside their cottage, where she was sitting on the swing bench Sasha and Zeb had built just a few years prior while taking advantage of their well deserved retirement, determined to all Lira Sana citizens. I sat on her side and she dropped a set of keys in my lap. I observed them and frowned. 

“You want me to leave? Why are you giving me the keys of the Ghost?”

She smiled, but there was an obvious pain to her expression. “I really love my family, you must know that…”

“I do, wholeheartedly…” 

“You are old enough, Jacen. I can’t stop you from fighting this war… Even though I fought at one so you would never have to.” My mother sighed, reaching out for my hands with tears in her eyes. “If you are going to do this, I want you to fight alongside family, like I did. It’s time for you to make your own, son.”

I looked at the keys, shining under the cluster light on my palm. My mother’s eyes shone with pride, happiness, but also grief and despair. Reaching out, I pulled her into a hug and held her in my arms, where she cried, and I did as well. 

Kyrra came out of the cottage alongside her adans, who left as soon as my mother had gathered herself together again. Kyrra also had tears in her eyes, wiping them at the back of her furred hand. She and I had kept in touch throughout the years, having her become a practiced mechanic who would always help with the Ghost or any of the more complicated ships from the Republic. I had invited her to join our fleet when she turned eighteen, but she politely refused. 

Kyrra had grown into a beautiful young woman, way taller than me and even both her fathers; not as strong as her adan though, but way more powerful than most humans could wish to be. 

“I want to go with you.” She said abruptly, still slightly hiccupping. “I want to fight.”

I eyed her dumbstruck. “You can’t be serious, Kyrra.” I shook my head. “You have a safe life here, a beautiful family… Don’t give it up.”

“I can’t, it’s in my blood.” She argued with me. “I mean, I know I’m adopted, but- They can’t stop me from following in their footsteps, I can’t help to be unapologetically _them_ … Give me some time, and I’ll enlist… But I’ll need your help.”

“Don’t enlist.” I shook my head. “Join me, come to my crew.”

“What?” She smiled through her tears.

“Mom gave me the Ghost.” I showed her the keys, dangling them for her. “I’m setting my own crew, and you are more than welcome to come join me whenever you want.”

Kyrra smiled sadly and pulled me into another hug, I embraced her back, thinking of the horrors to come. 

Two months later I was back in Lira San to pick her up, Ben had also come along, seeing as he had decided to join us as well. I was incredibly saddened to see both my uncles say goodbye to their precious Amsala'ka; who had been such a bright light in their lives for the past twenty years. 

_“Ashla silir an. Ashla rever an. Velenir an azare bar.”_

Zeb held her head between both hands, leaning their foreheads together and whispering a prayer of sorts. I guessed, since I couldn’t understand them. When he was done, his hands reached back and pulled his bo-rifle, carefully handing it to her. 

“Adan… La or'velkir atver syv!”

“La sylf hasher an jital, ni ashkerra. An sanalm zenash uvkirana, gal sylf sanat afsteryl boosan djai.” 

Kyrra shed even more tears before hugging her adan once more. Sasha let himself cry as he held her against his chest, rubbing the backs of her ears in a delicate manner. 

It was then that I realized, they were saying their _forever_ goodbyes. 

I couldn’t help but cry, and was already a mess by the time they got to me, doing a similar routine. 

“Baby Jacen,” Zeb said with a sad click of his tongue as he pulled away from our hug. “Our bright light when the galaxy was dark.” He said adoringly before placing a kiss on my forehead. Sasha did the same. 

Back aboard the Ghost, I took off and as soon as we had made our way onto hyperspace, I decided to take a nap. Walking into the room that was mine since I was a child -and my dad’s even before that, I saw the tip top of two furred ears standing out from the top bunk. Climbing up, the lasat plushie Sasha had given me all those years ago sat in a corner, forgotten. 

Once again I cried, thinking of those moments; flashes of innocence in a galaxy filled with anything but. I wiped the tears from my face and climbed down, there was only one thing to do about it.

Knocking on the door to the quarters on the opposite side of the ship, the doors took a while to open and showcase Kyrra in just as bad a state as I had been in. 

“Is everything okay?” I said, trying not to show her I had been crying as well. 

“This was their room, wasn’t it?” She asked carefully, almost as if she already knew the answer. “It still smells like them…”

“I- I got you something.” I said and her ears peaked with interest. Pulling the plushie from where I had made sure to hide behind my back, her eyes widened with adoration, and pooled with sadness. “Your papa made this and gave it to me when I was very young, when your adan moved to the Glimmer… So I wouldn’t miss him.” I explained carefully, petting the ears of the plushie before Kyrra took it on her hands. “I think you need it more than I do.”

Perhaps more than I ever did.

Kyrra broke into a sob, jumping out towards me for another hug, and I held her, for as long as we needed each other. 

Our base was D’Qar, and while Poe was also stationed with us, his skills were better used as part of Black Squadron, no doubt. One night, Ben, Kyrra and I were sitting at the common room for late night drinks, celebrating the success of yet another mission we were sent to as a crew -and that we were sure we were going to fail as one.

Poe came up to us, a swing to his hips as he leaned into our table. “Hey there, old friend…” He smiled and nudged my side. “How was your week?!” 

“Poe! You’re back!” I smiled brightly before hugging him from the side, he mirrored the gesture with a bright laugh. “You know Ben, right?” 

“Of course I know Poe!” Ben smiled, extending his hand to the older man, but even then Poe pulled him into a hug as well. 

“Little Ben!” Poe said excitedly, squeezing the Jedi to his chest. “Long time no see!”

Ben huffed in annoyance, but I knew him well enough to know he appreciated the gesture. 

“And this is my cousin, Kyrra!” I said extending my palm to her. Poe circled around the table and took her large furred hand in his, leaning down to leave a kiss on it. 

“Oh! _Arsera_...”

“You speak Lasana?!” Kyrra smiled excitedly.

“I know some of the Lasan dialect- But very little!” Poe answered by gesturing with two fingers almost close together. 

“What he means is that he knows greetings in lots of languages for moments such as these. Please don’t fall to his flattery…” I piped in, Poe gave me a _look_ , but I knew he was just teasing. 

“Welp, I guess it’s a bit too late for that!” Kyrra smiled. “Would you like to drink with us, Poe?” 

“Of course!” He answered before pulling a nearby chair and sitting amongst us on the table. The drink on his hand was still full, I noticed, and I guess so did he. “To us!” He smiled before raising it in a salutary fashion. “To our resistance!”

The three of us also raised our glasses. “And may we win, and live to tell our story afterwards!” Kyrra smiled. 

“Aye!” I yelled and we clink our glasses before downing our drinks. 

It was a fun night. Ben made his way back to the Ghost early, seeing as he never drank much. Which left Kyrra to carry drunk ass me back to the ship, we laughed and talked on our way through the tarmac, only to find my mother sitting in the galley, a holo opened up in front of her. 

“Hey there, love!” She smiled once she saw us walk in. 

“Auntie Hera!” Kyrra exclaimed excitedly, and in her lasats-are-always sober fashion, ran up to her and rubbed her furred cheek against my mother’s thick green skin, earning a bright laughter from her. “What is that?! Is that- ADAN! PAPA!” 

“Hey there, ashkerr'aki! We missed you!” 

Hearing my uncles’ voice immediately sobered me up, not completely, but at least to a point I wasn’t going to flop onto the ground. I walked towards them and sat down by Kyrra’s side, craning my neck to see the same thing she did. 

“Hi Jacen!” Zeb eagerly smiled and waved at me. It was clearly early morning as they sat in their swing bench, holding onto each other. 

“How is this even possible?!?” Kyrra asked, extreme happiness leaking in her voice and her grin. 

“It’s easier to find the proper technology for this type of call nowadays, unfortunately it won’t be able to happen every night, but I think you can manage to talk to your adans once a week…”

Kyrra turned to my mother and hugged her, tightly, more tightly than I thought possible. “Vor entye, auntie Hera. Vor entye.” 

“It’s nothing my dear.” Mom smiled as she pulled away, nudging me out so Kyrra could have a private moment with her adans. I followed my mother, holding her arm and happy to see my family together in the best way we could. 

For the time being. 

We were going to be together again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please consider leaving Kudos and Comments if you want!  
>   
> Now to translations!  
>   
> Ni alitha - My darling  
>   
> Ni ashkerr'aki - My little love  
>   
> Mies demagolka - Those monsters  
>   
> Ashla silir an. Ashla rever an. Velenir an azare bar. - Ashla save you. Ashlas hold you. Guide you through the night.  
>   
> La or'velkir atver syv. - I can't accept this  
>   
> An sanalm zenash uvkirana, gal sylf sanat afsteryl boosan djai. - You have been a great student, and will be a powerful warrior as well  
>   
> La sylf hasher an jital, ni ashkerra - I will see you again, my love.  
>   
> Amsala'ka - Dear Princess  
>   
> Arsera. - Charmed.  
>   
> Vor entye - Thank you


End file.
